Former escort Samantha X reveals what she told women about her cheating partners

Once I was getting my nails done when my phone rang. It was a woman’s voice: ‘My husband is a client of yours and I want some answers.’

Her voice was measured but she was angry. I didn’t blame her, I would be too.

It had to happen some day; the wife finds out. The confrontation. Her shock and her anger. My guilt and anger at how a man can be so careless. Now I was dragged into the mess of someone’s marriage.

I was called Australia’s highest profile escort at the time and every escort at some point has been on the receiving end of a partner whose world has just been turned upside down.

Some wives scream and shout, threaten to take you out, tell your family. Others just want answers. Most of them are angrier about the money their husbands have spent.

Men Make Stupid Mistakes: This time this wife snooped around and found a trail of emails.

She told me who he was: a surgeon who, in her words, ‘wasn’t particularly attractive and nothing special’.

I told him that I had no idea who he was. She pushed me further, but I couldn’t place it. Patrons often mingle with anonymous, faceless men.

She went on to say that when she arrested him, he promised to stop, bought her a sports car, and agreed to finally have children.

The question she wanted to ask: What was I thinking when I was with her husband?

That was it.

She was more concerned with emotional cheating, if she wanted to steal her man. I told the truth, and although this may surprise you, all the companions will nod in agreement.

I replied that I was thinking about what to have for dinner.

And it was as simple as that. She asked if she should leave her husband, and although it’s not for me to say it, the truth was no.

I get asked a lot: do I feel guilty? Yes and no.

Someone else’s marriage is none of my business. I wasn’t fooling anyone; men came to me.

Maybe they had separate bedrooms: a client hadn’t been intimate with his wife for eight years, but she divorced him when she discovered he was seeking privacy elsewhere.

But we all have a right to human contact and connection.

Now that I’m out of the game, I no longer want to be a part of someone’s sad marriage. And yes, I regret having been able to be part of another woman’s pain.

But do I think you should leave your cheating husband? Not necessarily. And here’s why:

1) They make stupid mistakes

Men are not perfect; nobody is. Some see companions on a whim, in one fell swoop. They are intrigued, they are at a work conference, they are drunk.

Believe it or not, very often their bosses pay for it as a gift to the children; yes, that still happens. Do you really want to throw away what is probably a good marriage over a stupid drunken mistake?

2) They don’t want an affair

Men see escorts because they don’t want to have an affair. They need something extra, a little escapism but they don’t want to fall in love because they love you.

They are emotionally committed to you, but have needs that are not being met at home for whatever reason.

This is not a blame game; It takes two to tango, and maybe your needs won’t be met either. Catching it could be a great way to start communicating.

3) It is purely transactional

While you will be angry at the amount of money you spent, the transaction is there to create a limit. Escorts don’t fall in love with their clients, and clients don’t fall in love very rarely either. It is an illusion, it is not real.

Escorts get paid to listen, to smile, to nod in the right places. Then they go home and go on with their lives and don’t think about their husband one iota. And I guarantee your husband isn’t thinking about her either.

One more thing: I have heard more than once that relationships improve after one has been caught cheating, that a good dose of reality and a new appreciation saves marriages.

Relationships are complex, people are complex, and life is not black and white.

When you have decades of history with someone, is it worth walking away? The choice is yours.